Fore River Park In Quincy

 

Beaching it in Quincy…

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I had some business up in Capital Q, and I took my smoke breaks down at the Fore River Park/Mound Street Beach area.

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Not much happens there now, but this was just upstream from the Fore River Shipyard, which was putting in work until 1986.

20180519_072024Just the geese and I…

 

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Personal use lighthouse at a defunct gas station.

 

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We did catch a game of Cricket. A group of Calcutta-type Indians go down there before 7 AM every Saturday for a match. Cricket is baseball enough to watch, but English enough that you don’t really know what’s going on. The pitcher gets a running start from centerfield, winds up like a softball pitcher, throws overhand and bounces it in the dirt in front of the batter. I was going to ask if I could play, but it violates the journalistic Primary Directive of “never interfere with what you are covering.” I also suck at baseball… I am a large man, and you could hide a small man very effectively in my strike zone.

I also had to get back to work…

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SE Massachusetts Branding

Interior SE Massachusetts Nicknames…

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Inspiration for a writer comes from many places. In this case, it came from me reading a booklet while I waited for my General Tso’s chicken at Chen’s Kitchen in Sagamore Beach.

The booklet in question was the Greater Plymouth County In Your Pocket guide. It is one of those tourist books that you can read for free if you find one laying around in a stack at your local House Of Pizza. It is very similar to the Best Read Guide that you see all over Cape Cod, and may in fact be put out by the same people.

The Guide is useful to tourists because of it has a colorful user-friendly map inside. The Plymouth version has a similar map.

This map breaks Southeastern Massachusetts down into several sections, as seen below:

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Plymouth, Cape Cod and the South Shore are common regional designations. Everybody knows what you mean when you say them.

Plymouth is a town. Cape Cod is a land mass. The South Shore, which sorta looks like an East Shore to me, makes sense once someone explains it to you.

You could slip North Shore, the Berkshires, Metro West, Boston/Greater Boston and the South  Coast seamlessly into the mix, as well.

The other regions? Not so seamless…

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“Cranberry County Canal Region” is so whack that it hurts. I say this before we start to discuss how badly they are biting our style. TV wrestlers call that “gimmick infringement,” and they will punch you for real if they see you doing it.

“Cranberry County Magazine” was named by a girl named Ana Banana. We didn’t use the name at the time, as we were writing for a paper which already had a name, but it was what I went with when naming this website. Ana never got to write for the site she named, as she was institutionalized.

CCM beat out “Chowderhead Thawtz,” “Nor’easter Blues,” “Tales From The Swamp Yankee” and several others.

Our office is essentially located on a triangle point where the South Coast, the South Shore and Cape Cod meet.  We cover all three regions, and decided that it would be easier to just create a supercounty for Branding purposes.

My first instinct was not to launch a lawsuit, a state of mind which probably explains why I live in a 484 square foot house with one of the  windows taped in. I was flattered. Our supercounty made enough sense that someone else ran with it.

However, they ran too far with it. Northwestern Lakeville is closer to Boston than it is to the Cape Cod Canal. Their regional designation removes Mattapoisett, Marion and Wareham from their more valid South Coast designation. It does perform the perhaps necessary action of removing the villages of Buzzards Bay, Bournedale and Sagamore Beach from Cape Cod.

Hanson, where Ocean Spray was founded, doesn’t make it into Cranberry Country.  They instead end up in the South Shore, landlocked, 15 miles inland from any beach.

Buzzards Bay, Sagamore and Bournedale have enough cranberries to group them in with Carver and Middleboro and just drop the Canal Region part. Shoot, the Cranberry farmer picture at the top of the page was taken in Buzzards Bay.

You get a sense that the map guy was being hurried as the publication date neared, or that two people of equal influence disagreed on whether it should be Canal Country or Cranberry Country, and a compromise was reached.

Either way, whoever signed off on it should be taken out and maimed… or punched for real by Braun Strowman.

Next…

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Metro South.

I don’the know who named the South Shore. The South Coast was named by Todd Gross, a TV weatherman, most likely to shave a few syllables off of “Greater New Bedford area” during his forecasts.

Metro West was named by the former Middlesex News paper, which now bears the MW. It was suggested by reporter Greg Supernovich, and I want it on the internet somewhere that “Supernovich” which would be a pretty cool name as well.

I have not seen Metro South used anywhere but on this map.

That doesn’t mean that it isn’t a cool name. I like it. It has rhythm, is catchy, plays off a successful precedent and takes less time to spit out than “the greater Brockton area.”

They have it as Brockton, the various Bridgewaters, Raynham, Whitman and Abington.

Metrowest was named to cover the metropolitan area between Boston and Worcester. This Metro South is everything between Holbrook and Middleboro.

The real Metro  South would seem to be the Quincy/Braintree/Randolph area. Brockton would be a fine southern border, but Abington, Whitman and the Bridgewaters seem to be more Cranberry.

For all I know, there is a Greater Norfolk County booklet map with the Quincy-to-Brockton part labeled as Metro South. That is a problem I can leave to some Quincy-to-Brockton writer.

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These areas do need a nickname. I get negative reader feedback if I lump Dighton  or Freetown into a South Coast article. It is difficult to work Brockton into the South Shore with Duxbury, even if they were the same town once.

Regional pride demands better nicknames. Greater Taunton and Greater Brockton would suffice, with some sort of Cranberry designation covering everything inland from the Irish Riviera. The Cranberry part would be physically large, but sparsely populated.

Plymouth, while only one town, is very large physically and her stand-alone designation works on a map.

The division of Cape Cod into regions is a whole other article… an article which cannot begin until we define Cape Cod’s western border … which is also a whole other article.

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Tuesday Night Tsunami

Heavy thunderstorms hit the New England last Tuesday. While it was not a strong storm or hurricane, there was a sharp drop in barometric pressure.

Amazingly, this produced a tsunami.

No, it was not a Big Kahuna style tsunami that you see on Hawaii Five-O trailers, nor was it an Indonesian-killing wall of water that reached 10 miles inland. To my knowledge, this tsunami, if it even reached the shore, had no discernible effects.

This was a meteotsunami, and I sure hope that I spelled that right. Unlike normal tsunamis, which are born from earthquakes, volcanic eruptions or even asteroid strikes, a meteotsunami arises from atmospheric conditions.

They happen more than we think they happen. The Great Lakes get 100 of them a year, I am told. Most of them are very small, although there have been damaging ones in the past. Meteotsunamis have killed several people in Chicago within the last 100 years, and one struck Massachusetts in the last 5 years… heck, one may have struck us in the last 2 days.

Tuesday’s meteotsunami registered on as NOAA buoy off of Conneticut, and the wave ended up hitting the coast of Atlantic City, New Jersey. The wave was 10 inches tall, not even Gary Coleman could surf it. However, it was officially a tsunami.

Did it hit New England? Not that I am aware of. New England has been hit by tsunamis before. A strong thunderstorm offshore in 2013 produced a meteotsunami, which hit both Massachusetts and New Jersey. Again, it was small, but not small enough to escape notice.

Massachusetts may also have been hit with a real tsunami of seismic origin during the 1929 Grand Banks earthquake, which put a 20 foot tsunami into parts of Canada and snapped all of the transatlantic ocean cables around here. The arrival of the tsunami in Massachusetts was unnoticeable, due to a strong Nor’easter hitting the region at the time.

They may have had a tsunami wash ashore Tuesday, I am not sure as we are going to press.

So, while it was minor, a tsunami did form in the region Tuesday night. More will come in the future.

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Voting In Bourne Today

Bourne is holding their Town elections today, and we strongly urge you to go downtoen to exercise your right to vote.

You can vote for Selectman (or woman), Board of Health people, Recreation committee people and a whole bunch of other stuff.

Polls opened at 7 AM, and will stay open until 8 PM. I voted, and the staff were very helpful when I didn’t turn up on the voter rolls due to me blowing off those census forms.

This column personally is representin’ hard for Precinct 1.

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Cape Cod Road Trip

31404109_10156225277767510_2286550140674113536_oSome days you have ideas for a story, some days you just ride around and see what comes up.

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Bass River Bridge, above and below…

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31416727_10156225316447510_2931035182012039168_oWe also got our bad selves out to Smuggler’s Beach…in Yarmouth, home of Mattacheese.

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Docks, both great and small…

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31433659_10156225240862510_1228575064308318208_oAbove, a personal-use lighthouse at the Bass River Bridge.

31437512_10156225277717510_5390269563768143872_oLifeguard stands always look cool in the offseason.

We got in some Parker River Beach,  below…

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‘merica!31472640_10156225266957510_2169058660297211904_o31486871_10156225266942510_3882592526539948032_oStash these for Memorial Day…

31495284_10156225315362510_6640780353202028544_oI do a lot of shore photography and I have always had a weakness for curved jetties. Plymouth has a nice one, but this is Yarmouth.

31503415_10156225240902510_8518996579972022272_oBass River dock…

31505960_10156225334657510_7287034401374863360_oCottages in Yahhhmuth.

 

31518964_10156225240842510_4944410365980049408_oGood spot for the Dab Pen!

 

31398321_10156225312192510_5262918633775955968_oI am nothing if not a romantic, and will risk the creepy shot of people who don’t know I am shooting at them to bring you, the reader, a cute picture.

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Indoor pool, at the beach. There’s an indoor sand box on the hotel’s backside.

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I never tire of lighthouses, a good trait in a Cape Cod photographer.

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It is my intention to go through all of my photographs and compile enough for a book on Cape Cod wind vanes.

31403472_10156225352282510_6933487408126099456_oHad to stop at the Beach House.

31403779_10156225333512510_4135603101417603072_oSmall seawall here, strange, I need to chat up a local…

31403921_10156225334472510_8581313841017651200_oThe good part about the offseason Cape is that you can get some pretty nice beaches to yourself.

 

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Hey, that duck is from a Rehoboth article, what’s he doing here?

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Above and below, Plymouth… because we just emptying the photo gallery on the camera at this point.

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Let’s get back to the Cape…

20180429_115254“C-o-m-p-t-o-n and the city they call Long Beach…”

 

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A couple of beached boats…

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20180429_111457This looks like Captain Bob got married, had a bunch of kids and had to vastly upgrade the sea shanty.

20180429_104827How you ‘dune?

20180428_155311S’up?

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You know you hate yourself when you take behind-the-wheel pictures on suicide alley. “Suicide Allie” or some similar spelling thereof would be a great stripper name at a dive bar.

20180428_171229Rip Skull!

20180429_104546Thanks for checking us out!

Defending Donald

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Hurry down to Cumbys on Main Street in Buzzards Bay today before the deep state stormtroopers move along the LaRouche people.

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You may remember them from a few years ago in the same spot, where they had a Barack Obama with a Hitler mustache poster.

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The guy seemed nice enough, although he got told to f*ck off by a few passing cars. I don’t think anyone beat him up last time, so things should be A-OK down in Bee Bay.

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Donald can’t do it alone, which is why God made Russia. It may have been the third Fatima Secret. Stacey is our only hardcore Catholic on the staff, so I took the liberty of leaving her contact information instead of mine. “I know a guy named Courtney,” said one of the guys sympathetically, as he checked my info and deduced that he was looking at a 6’5″ Stacey.

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I don’t know what eastern Australia did to run afoul of the Larouche paradigm, but it must suck when Yemen gets invited to a party and you don’t.

My man breaks it down for you, below…

 

 

Rehoboth Beast Hunting

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We heard reports of a bear in the Ash Street area of Rehoboth, so we scrambled the crew and headed out to see what was what. The first thing we found was a man’s man barbecue.

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We didn’t catch the bear (we were only going to shoot him with the camera), which was probably a good thing for all parties. We did catch a duck posse.

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Rehoboth, which is the Hebrew word meaning “broad places,” was founded in 1643. It originally stretched to Providence. The Native Americans took a few cracks at Rehoboth during King Philip’s War, burning houses and saw mills and generally scaring the bejesus out of the colonists. The white boys paid them back by killing Anawan (a Wampanoag sachem who took over after King Phillip perished) there, ending King Philip’s War in this part of the state. Duxbury”s Benjamin Church, America’s first ranger, led that mission.

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All of this matters very little to the ducks, who just want to be left alone to hang around on Ash Road. I found out later that they are free range Muscovy ducks, and sort of serve as the neighborhood’s conscience regarding speeding down that road

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I had to shoo them along, as cars were coming. I didn’t want them to get run over, because they were there both days that I searched Rehoboth and I had grown attached to them.

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One of them even sat down in the road like she thought she was an Occupy Rehoboth protestor.

 

 

Provincetown Shipwreck

WRECK OF THE ARTEMIS

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If you know a guy who misplaced his F/V Artemis, they may have it out in P-Town.

 

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The Artemis broke free from her mooring last month, washed across the harbor and came to rest on this breakwater.

 

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The town contacted the owner, who has yet to comply with their demands that he remove the vessel from the the breakwater.

 

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She’s a bit of a fixer upper, as they say down in the scrap yard. She is no pollution threat, and has been stripped of everything except her engine and her winch.

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My people told me that he was planning on fixing it up, but hadn’t gotten around to it yet.  It may also be safe to assume that he hadn’t gotten around to securing the mooring.

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Race Point Light couldn’t do anything for the Artemis before she crashed, and right now isn’t looking too good, either.

 

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Few articles are lessened by the sudden, needless introduction of a purple/pink boulder.

 

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There’s another ship up on a different jetty somewhere else in town, but checking out two shipwrecks on one road trip is sort of like what World War One guys felt regarding lighting three cigarettes off of one match… a sensible man just doesn’t do it.

NMLC Benefit

NMLC Benefit In Bourne Thursday…

Cranberry County Magazine

The Trowbridge Tavern is hosting celebrity bartender night on Thursday to benefit the National Marine Life Center.

All tips from the event will benefit the center.

The NMLC is a Buzzards Bay entity best known for rehabbing and releasing injured seals back into the ocean. They also help turtles, whales… even repotters, in some cases.

I think that almost every human being desires to help animals who are in trouble. There are few more viable callings.

It can be tough to do, because not everyone is a veterinarian or Steve Irwin type who can jump into a situation and have a positive effect

But you can do your part tonight just by having a little bit of the liquid courage and leave it a nice tip for your bartender… who do to the very nature of the celebrity Bartender game will be very much informed about seals.

I don’t drink…

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NMLC Benefit

The Trowbridge Tavern is hosting celebrity bartender night on Thursday to benefit the National Marine Life Center.

All tips from the event will benefit the center.

The NMLC is a Buzzards Bay entity best known for rehabbing and releasing injured seals back into the ocean. They also help turtles, whales… even reporters, in some cases.

I think that almost every human being desires to help animals who are in trouble. There are few more viable callings.

It can be tough to do, because not everyone is a veterinarian or Steve Irwin type who can jump into a situation and have a positive effect

But you can do your part tonight just by having a little bit of the liquid courage and leave it a nice tip for your bartender… who do to the very nature of the celebrity Bartender game will be very much informed about seals.

I don’t drink much… but when I do there is usually some nefarious underlying purpose. ” I’m going to drink this beer and then I’m going to smash it off that guy’s head” or ” she’s about 3 vodka drinks away from finding me attractive.” You know, tonsil polish blues, firewater funk.

Not tonight, however… no, tonight, I will lift the mug help some animals who otherwise might not get help.

The Trowbridge Tavern does Celebrity bartender night every Thursday and they’ve raised over $40,000 for local charities since January. The Trow doesn’t set the bar, they are the bar.

No, like literally…

The event starts at 6:30, at 100 Trowbridge Road, Bourne. It’s that TAVERN sign that you see when you cross the bridge… Cape Cod”s CITGO sign.